RAIN

....................rain rain please dont go away............................

this is hard

this is hard because....

i cant decide on it or is it maybe i think too much. shud i continue or shud i just ignore it and wait for other choices but what if there are no other choices later on. my mom sed wait until for the umrah and pray to God and let Allah open a way for me..i wish too but can he wait until that time, will he be there that time. maybe im too sacred tat wat mama sed to me before..im afraid of commitment, im afraid to try..but i think what im afraid is being hurt and making the wrong choice..

i dunno oh God i dunno, im scared when im making my mind i might bump into someone better later and might change my mind that time.. i dun want to hurt other feeling..the truth there is no single tingle feeling in my heart when i look at his photo..i believe when u met ur partner, u will feel connection, chemistry la kot katakan..or maybe tis is the best standard for me..well, i dun have look sincerely sed so perhaps this is the best for me..but at least i wish i can have someone a bit more like the lost future partner last time..haha..owh now im being choosyyy.....;P

the longest wedding i haf ever been

time 830 am to 500pm

a few words i can described about my cousin wedding at the bride's house...HOT, HUNGER AND HECK..

1st delay - tok imam postponed from 1030am to 12pm which still can be acceptable
2nd delay - baju pengantin x sampai...oO
3rd delay - mak andam x dapat cari rumah which totally unreasonable..gosh

we waited from 1030 am till 300pm..pity our elders who just had towait wit an empty stomach..they just had little breakfast, yes they did served us drink and kuih when we arrived..but its x enuf when u have diabetis..they need sugar or glucose to b precise..thank God me and my mom ok because we alredi trained for it..diet la katakan..but nasib baik i took breakfast tat morning, i almost jadi harimau bertaring tat time because i dun like to wait in hot weather now in Malaysia..however, alhamdulillah everything went fine and wish abg dek selamat pengantin baru and semoga berbahagia..amin..

HAPPY

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free

I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
just can’t let go
just trying to play my role
slowly disappear

But all these days
They feel like they’re the same
Just different faces
different place
Get me out of here

I can’t stand by the side
Ooh, no
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be happy

Oh, happy
Oh

So any turns that I cant see
I’ll count a stranger on this road
But dont say victim
Don’t say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy
Happy
I just wanna be
Oh
I just wanna be
Happy.

am i ready?

alhamdulillah....dlm bankruptcy after declare gaji kena potong, Allah open another door for me..yes i just got the feel tat its time but sumtimes i did have doubt am i ready for it..umrah sahaja its not such big deal some ppl might sed tat but to me its BIG..to set ur feet there..it make me feel so small to stand at such a holy place mecca mukaramah..Allah i pray for my strength to be able to complete my duty in my life toward u..

my mum was so excited..well, i cried quietly in my heart to see her so happy about it..gosh, i dunno how to describe tat feeling..when ur loves ones is happy because of u, the felling is like u own the world..i dunno how to sed it..whenever i remember it few tears will slipped down...i think everybody know tat kind of feeling..fuly satisfaction i wud say..hahha

ada juga tanya my friends the girls i called them, dena Jk and lat..boleh ke aku ni?..they say yes, i can..i just feel so humble, so dirty..macam x caya je Allah nk trima x doa aku nanti..dah la xcited sebab nk tangkap gambar and singgah jordan..then clothes, wat shud i wear, tutup aurat but nk look vogue at the same time..mcm mn tu?...nauzubillah, i have tat kind of feel..mcm nk p bercuti2 msia..tat wat make me feel guilty..huhu..will Allah accept my prayers and doa..hopefully, ill try my best to set my niat on the right path..jgn nk ingat jalan-jalan and shopping...hehe..but im soo excited actually and scared juga..

jodoh..haha..tat was put on top list in my doa's list...mama and mak remind me so many times..i believe i just havent met him yet..may Allah show me the way..the truth is im a bit choosy..nk yg hensem2 je bak kata mak..haha...tp yg x hensem tp x baik pun x guna juga mak..hahha...tat y nk hensem and baik tu...tu la yg susah nk cari mak oii..im 27 years old, prime time haha..lat and dena alwaz remind me on tis..im alredi old..i dunno im just happy wit my single life now..i dun feel like i wan to get married..bahayes..hahha

glued to it

chuno
star falling from the sky
pasta

i am currently watching this series every week...my new addiction after QSD
1.pasta
2.star falling from the sky
3.chuno

glowing and puffy?

tat wat my labmates told me...wat r u wearing...berseri2..they thot im getting married which is absolutely incorrect..bf pun xda...nak kawin dgn sapa?..haha...yg pasti my cousin who is geeting married next month..as usual, a bit mad today sbb when ppl access my google account i hv to reaccess again my acc..the prob is alwaz forget my acc password..i think i shud i hibernate n close my laptop next time..tat y dah lama x update blog..its fun actually to have a blog but when this kind of remeh temeh thing happen u just lazy to write..

again, back to topic..my face...so far the diff tat i made from usual routine is...i din take rice..i mean not totally skipped it..just avoiding it, mebbe just 1 scoop in 1 wk..i replaced it wit bread, wholegrain or wheat bran (which still confusing me) but after bit research and inet surfing, wholegrain is better...and i drink dilmah green tea from ceylon with mint..i love to sip it every morning in lab while checking my mail..hot tea in cold room..and oso enjoying my healthy breakfast..omg i miss my nasi lemak...its tough to decline the temptation especially when i at home during weekend..deymm its hard..

but i lazy to go jog like my routine last year, i can shed few pound easily if i stick to exercising..seriously..it really worked last time..i almost look 6-7 kilos last year..now..just starting slowly on weekend wit mommy...God, pls give me strength..totally victory if i can lose 10 kgs..perhaps..back in bintulu mid year will help me..hopefully