this is hard

this is hard because....

i cant decide on it or is it maybe i think too much. shud i continue or shud i just ignore it and wait for other choices but what if there are no other choices later on. my mom sed wait until for the umrah and pray to God and let Allah open a way for me..i wish too but can he wait until that time, will he be there that time. maybe im too sacred tat wat mama sed to me before..im afraid of commitment, im afraid to try..but i think what im afraid is being hurt and making the wrong choice..

i dunno oh God i dunno, im scared when im making my mind i might bump into someone better later and might change my mind that time.. i dun want to hurt other feeling..the truth there is no single tingle feeling in my heart when i look at his photo..i believe when u met ur partner, u will feel connection, chemistry la kot katakan..or maybe tis is the best standard for me..well, i dun have look sincerely sed so perhaps this is the best for me..but at least i wish i can have someone a bit more like the lost future partner last time..haha..owh now im being choosyyy.....;P