Beautiful Panda Eyes

Hallu,

This is not a good day for me since i'm suffering from a bad headache with swollen beautiful panda puffy eyes huhu And i'll keep u update on my diet menu from Saturday until today but that shall wait for a while. Anyway, for now, i shall meet a doctor for some pills.

a note to my dearest significant other

dearest my significant other....

i know u are there somewhere,

and how i wish u are here with me,

hug me and pat my back gently,

whispers good words and console me,

stand by me through the hardships,

and congratulate me when i'm succeed

HEARTACHE

i need a flower now :(

EMOTIONALLY SHUTTING DOWN

dearest all,

feeling x soo good....mentally and physically drained...berlari dan terus aku berlari mengejar masa yang kesempitan ini menghabiskan selonggok kerja yang bertimbun-timbun ibarat gunung everest..im x a multi-task person, cant hit 2 birds with one stone, bukan serampang 2 mata dan peribahasa seumpamanya...kena satu satu if not macam ni lah jadinya.

pressure from writing is one things ditambah berat aku yg x turun-turun lagi ni, mcm nak gila aku rasa..nak je aku hempuk scale tu, pastu nampak plak 'that number' kat mamat senget...cish humiliating betul rasanya. A thing about me is I CARE WHAT OTHER THINK BOUT ME...well, x good some would sed..be confident and chin up, i shud do that instead of thinking what will ppl think abt me..im sorry that is me!

1 week, ive try to concentrate with my writing but phone calls non stop ringging, sometimes i think i just shud turn it off..pardon me ppl, im trying hard to finish my work here, sorry for my rudeness..another thing, question and question, im tired of thinking of the answer when im oso struggling with the words to write..

Oh God, i wish i am in isolated place not here, please not here..far from this disturbance...~sigh~

this is hard

this is hard because....

i cant decide on it or is it maybe i think too much. shud i continue or shud i just ignore it and wait for other choices but what if there are no other choices later on. my mom sed wait until for the umrah and pray to God and let Allah open a way for me..i wish too but can he wait until that time, will he be there that time. maybe im too sacred tat wat mama sed to me before..im afraid of commitment, im afraid to try..but i think what im afraid is being hurt and making the wrong choice..

i dunno oh God i dunno, im scared when im making my mind i might bump into someone better later and might change my mind that time.. i dun want to hurt other feeling..the truth there is no single tingle feeling in my heart when i look at his photo..i believe when u met ur partner, u will feel connection, chemistry la kot katakan..or maybe tis is the best standard for me..well, i dun have look sincerely sed so perhaps this is the best for me..but at least i wish i can have someone a bit more like the lost future partner last time..haha..owh now im being choosyyy.....;P