An Apple Tree

HEARTACHE

i need a flower now :(

life in bintulu

GCB yang meruntun jiwaku

hello there,

yes ppl, im back to work..back to cowboy town bintulu, actually x lah koboi sangat, dah semakin maju bintulu ni ;) baguslah but still kena develop lagi, bintulu still far behind (typical penangites haha). As usual kena tambah shopping comples banyak skit and pls nx time around when im back after my PhD, hopefully ada McD..haha penting tu kalo terliur lagi aku tengok iklan McD dekat tv tu esp bulan posa ni, meruntun jiwaku tengok GCB yg baru tu


And dengan dukacitanya dimaklumkan duit raya this year xda ye wahai kaum kerabat bdk2 kecik man peons, mak chaq mimi gaji sudah habis bayar hutang, mana idaknya tiket flight balik raye je dah almost 1k, xke kesakitan jiwa tengok duit tu melayang p dekat air asia tapi itulah nasib lah mencari rezeki di rantau orang (overc OK)

Apa-apa pun nak share la sikit kisah start mengajar balik after habis study, suasana 'muram' sedikit sebab 'geng' yg dulu semua tgh still study leave, aku je yang terhegeh-hegeh buat MSc org semua dah naik bullet train buat PhD, nvm esok cek p, hgpa pulak blk no 'BERAMAL BERBAKTI' ewah but x siok betul la, x best..dah la patah kaki..hehehe Anyway, 'pemangkin' pun xda, so demi agama, bangsa, negara, sanggup ku tempuh onak dan duri ini..ceewahh

Hopefully, my new journey in Bintulu this time will stay as a great one and insyaAllah pray for me ppl, ill finish my thesis and everything by next year aminnnnnn so next year i can cau cin cau plak for my PhD and sekali doakan dapat over the sea kali ni ya walaupun cubaan time MSc dulu sangat 'makan dalam' so terdampar ku dia local university which i never regretted to b there until now. Alhamdulillah i have a 1Malaysia family there.

EMOTIONALLY SHUTTING DOWN

dearest all,

feeling x soo good....mentally and physically drained...berlari dan terus aku berlari mengejar masa yang kesempitan ini menghabiskan selonggok kerja yang bertimbun-timbun ibarat gunung everest..im x a multi-task person, cant hit 2 birds with one stone, bukan serampang 2 mata dan peribahasa seumpamanya...kena satu satu if not macam ni lah jadinya.

pressure from writing is one things ditambah berat aku yg x turun-turun lagi ni, mcm nak gila aku rasa..nak je aku hempuk scale tu, pastu nampak plak 'that number' kat mamat senget...cish humiliating betul rasanya. A thing about me is I CARE WHAT OTHER THINK BOUT ME...well, x good some would sed..be confident and chin up, i shud do that instead of thinking what will ppl think abt me..im sorry that is me!

1 week, ive try to concentrate with my writing but phone calls non stop ringging, sometimes i think i just shud turn it off..pardon me ppl, im trying hard to finish my work here, sorry for my rudeness..another thing, question and question, im tired of thinking of the answer when im oso struggling with the words to write..

Oh God, i wish i am in isolated place not here, please not here..far from this disturbance...~sigh~

Strength

maybe no one tell u there a strength in your tears, tats why u keep it from pouring down...

~Kelly Clarkson 'if no one will'~

dalam pulling myself to the max nak habiskan writing ni, i love to hear this song, feel very encouraging and bersemangat skit. When i submit part by part of my thesis, feel like the burden has been lifted out..leganyaaaa

these next 2 months, i need to settle habis-habis all my 'jiken', probably in mei just tinggal histology work..insyaAllah..cross finger ladies...hehe....now my nights was filled wit dreaming of my thesis..tengah malam pun boleh jaga teringat dah siap or belum thesis..tulah la degi x nak tulis awal2 dulu, now padan muka diri sendiri...

ok people, wish the best for me and now im heating up my engine nak dapat another 2 page for 'causative agent' chapter..hehe..yosh gambarou!!!!

selfishness

~ If all the people in this world, in which we live, were as selfish as a few of the people in this world, in which we live, there would be no world in which to live. ~ W.L.Orm

well, at the first place, im quite dissapointed actually by some ppl reactions towards our bday celebration's tonite but now...wah it ended so well, perhaps very overwhelmed indeed...haha...macam goreng panas..before this, we have to find people to fill in the seats but now dont have xtra seats to fill in..haha..hwr, deep in my heart, i macam nak cakap..'serve u, before this x nak, complain mahal and watever..now last minute bila semua nak p, baru nak join..amik hang"....ur selfishness at first place ending u up in miserable place now, cant join us for the fun....well, im sorry i think u deserve it..ooopssss

LAZY BUMP VIRUS

i am infected with lazy bump virus and i just want to eat, eat eat....please help me concentrate, picaso! picaso! picaso!